3 Recommendations To Stay Resilient Post COVID-19
Excerpt From The Book “Rising Strong” By Brené Brown
We all know that pandemic has shifted the way we live and some of us probably are affected the most by COVID-19. For me, it is the fact that I lost my full-time job and had to move back to my country Indonesia. No matter how hard we try to ignore the reality that we might not well prepare for the emergency situation like this global pandemic, it does not mean we have to keep mourning for our failures.
Acknowledging Our Failures
What did you do when you feel betrayed or failed in life? I think we all aware of the term “Quarter-Life Crisis” an episodic anxiety where we find ourselves sitting in the corner questioning the meaning of our lives. It sounds scary and certainly not a good place to be.
Fortunately, there are many self-help books written by experts that recommend us to actually acknowledge the hurt feeling of betrayal on oneself or another. Sometimes it is easier to say it than actually experience it. I remember a time when I was participated in a national pageantry where I ended up not getting into the TOP 8 despite my confidence of being one of the strongest contestants based on the personal records. Long story short, I let myself to feel insecure and unsatisfied about the result for about a week. It put myself at ease to begin conceptualizing the next steps to get back in the game. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is good to fuel yourself with the great intentions to keep moving on.
Composting Failures
Do you realize that you make hundreds or maybe thousands of unconcsious decisions everyday? Will you blame yourself if you skipped breakfast for fear of missing the train to work? I think we all aware that we have always been judging everything we do in our lives with certain measurements. When we cannot meet certain goals, we like to blame it on ourselves or others for being unsuccessful.
On the other hand, when you are in the arena competing with other people, there is only one type of shame that will ride your nerve, comparison. I have to relearn how I can control my ego and facedown the process of mind-shaping when I did not make it to the TOP of every competition I participated in my life. Understanding where we came from, mistakes we made, and that we are just imperfect human beings is a good step for accepting our weaknesses and embrace our imperfections. We do not have to always be the best, and it is okay to not always achieve what we want. At least we tried and failed because there is something we can learn along the way. Stop comparing yourself to another, and stay focus in your own lane, because comparison kills creativity and joy.
The Revolution
Do you still remember the last time you tried to get yourself up of the bed after going through a tough time the day before? I think we all have been there. But what does encourage you to push yourself up, pick up the towel, and jump into the shower? I think we all can agree that it is the survival skills we developed during our lifetime that help us bouncing back.
We all have been through difficult situations in our lifetime. There are many types of actions we use to face our failures. Some of us probably manage to continue by ignoring our past mistakes under the name of self-loved and that those mistakes shall not happen because we are enough. While some others are more willing to acknowledge their imperfections and believe that those failures happened for a reason. When I was in High School I liked singing, so I competed for a regional singing competition every year in three consecutive years. The first year I was competed, My dad said my voice is not beautiful enough, so I should not waste my time to compete at all. I turned his negative opinion into courage to prove him wrong. I participated in the competition, but I was the first person getting eliminated in that year. I then decided to practice my vocal and came back in the following year. This time I managed to make it to the final competition, but did not bring home any trophies. So, I took the advice from one of the judges who gave me a pretty mean comment saying my voice sounds funny and does not have any special characters that they are looking for. Again, I took his comment to prove him that my voice is beautiful enough and has its own uniqueness. I was in the last year of my senior high school. I took all of the bad judgments from people around me and fueled myself to get my vocal better. And I came back for the third year round and competed for the last time. The result was unbelievable. I did not only make it to the finale but also won the first place in that regional singing competition. I proved to myself and everyone else that acknowledging your mistakes, owning them, and learning from them is the most powerful driving force to get out of the bed rock.
At the end, we all have our own way to face our failures and pick up ourselves back in the line. What we need to remind ourselves is that failures are necessary ingredients to be resilient in life. Failures teach us empathy, and make us being bold in every decision we made forward. They also help navigate us through a hard time by recognizing the red flags and making thoughtful decisions. It is okay to be unapologetic, but it is important to avoid becoming ignorance.
